What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
The best moment that could serve that proof that everything is going to be alright... that reminds me of some Oswald Chambers that I've been reading recently, where he emphasizes that faith based on experience is not the real thing. And that really struck me, because it's easy for me to base my "knowledge" of God's goodness on instances of when He has saved the day in the past. But who's to say that God's not good, simply because He's not doing things in my life that I want? Ultimately, God is still good, whether or not my wishes are being granted.
That being said, I do think God affords us some moments of reassurance, where he is saying, "let go, let Me, just breathe and rest in my love." I find this often in His word, and also in the company of those I love most. I have to be careful with the latter, because I cannot always depend on people to make me feel that everything is going to be alright. The former is the real thing, finding a feeling of reassurance when I'm engulfed in His word. That's not as easy as the company form, but it's eternal and unshakable.
To incorporate this discovery into the year ahead, I will rely more heavily on scripture to get me through even daily life. While I do feel like my life is full to the brim right now with good things, I know that God's word will endure through times when I feel really empty, too. I want to put my full weight on God's word, study it more. Study it with a friend, maybe. Or maybe take up a new form of response to it, like writing a Bible study. Or writing my questions and analyses, for no particular audience. I would not mind returning to a "Three Minutes a Day" kind of writing. I am looking forward to reading Shauna Neiquist's books over this break, hopefully to get me rolling. I can't deny, her books kind of scare me, just because she seems so real. Real can be scary. But real is good. With God's truth, real is ok. (!)
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Writing
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
Just like the prompt about body integration, I love this prompt. This hits close to my heart because I want to write more and more as I get older. What I do each day that eats into time I could be writing is mostly technology-related distractions, such as Facebook. Time killer of the century. I also don't read for pleasure enough, and that's a major feeder of creative writing. I mean, writing without reading is like trying to run a race as a chronic anorexic. Not gonna happen, and if it does, it'll be pitifully done. A third writing-killer that occurs daily, I think, are my dull lessons that I haven't re-vamped.
Can I eliminate what doesn't contribute to my writing? Yes. When I go to Facebook, redirect to these prompts. When I want to give a dull repeat lesson, instead look for a way to incorporate my own writing into the lesson, as Ms. W. suggested, my administrator.
Just like the prompt about body integration, I love this prompt. This hits close to my heart because I want to write more and more as I get older. What I do each day that eats into time I could be writing is mostly technology-related distractions, such as Facebook. Time killer of the century. I also don't read for pleasure enough, and that's a major feeder of creative writing. I mean, writing without reading is like trying to run a race as a chronic anorexic. Not gonna happen, and if it does, it'll be pitifully done. A third writing-killer that occurs daily, I think, are my dull lessons that I haven't re-vamped.
Can I eliminate what doesn't contribute to my writing? Yes. When I go to Facebook, redirect to these prompts. When I want to give a dull repeat lesson, instead look for a way to incorporate my own writing into the lesson, as Ms. W. suggested, my administrator.
Make
What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
Well if this prompt doesn't bring to mind my more creative friends, C. and C.! It also reminds me how my brother once said to me, during my junior or senior year of undergrad, "You sure are less creative and artistic than you used to be." Initially, I was offended, but he was absolutely right. I have lost the desire to hold on to scraps and merge them into something new. Well, not entirely... I still have collaging materials in a shoebox in my bedroom, waiting, waiting, waiting to be made into something great and beautiful. Collaging really appeals to me, always has. I wonder why? I like incorporating words with images too. Complete and utter synergy! The marriage of images and words! What more could a literary artist want??? (Reminds me also of the books Austerlitz and Our America, both chapter books which incorporate images. Awesome.)
OK, I need to control myself. I could go on and on saying, "That reminds me of..." Back to the prompt at hand! A few things come to mind that I want to talk about having made. In March, I made a Wordle / Poem framed gift for one of my aunts. I used a computer, my friend Joy's prowess on Macs (to use the Grab program to capture the Wordle image and convert it into a .jpg file, so I could print it in color at FedEx), the Wordle.net website, and a two-slot picture frame to put it all together. Oh yeah, and some tape to secure it, plus the packaging stuff. Joy's help in assembling this craft was 50% of the fun. I need to clear time to make a similar one for my other aunt. However, I want to shake it up somehow and vary hers, so the gifts aren't identical. I've had her in mind for at least 6 months. I made her one already, but it doesn't do her justice, so I need to regroup and re-create. As my friend Crystal has said, it's never a bad idea to start from scratch again, and not re-use something you're not crazy about. She was referring to my personal statement for a grad school application.
Actually, maybe I should say that was my most recent creation, my re-vamped personal statement. For that, my materials were: the comfortable environment of T's apartment (heated, with his intermittent input and the motivation his company provides); Marvin Gaye lyrics (and therefore, the cultural capital my dad gave me by introducing this music to me in the first place); my computer; the gift of e-editing given by a former professor and former classmate; and spacious, soothing evening hours, away from work and without the specter of other encroaching deadlines, etc. That was a very positive experience, the creation of that personal statement. I love it, whereas the prior one I wrote was as flat as 3-day old RC Cola that came in a 2-liter plastic container and was left out in the cold garage and forgotten.
Another recent creation of mine was a collection of my own writing, which I compiled as a gift. That was fun. Maybe someday I will really get to see some of my writing published in a book. Wow, that day would be 100% bliss. So if that's the next thing I want to make, I definitely need to clear some time for it. I need to undertake the kind of discipline and devotion published writers exercise, where they say, "6 a.m. till 11 a.m. is my writing time, every day, no matter what, no matter how in or out of touch with my muse I feel, I will produce writing between those hours, uninterrupted by errands, relationships, to-do's, the Internet and its infinite researching abilities, whatever else... I already know what I want my first book to be about. I've wanted to do this for the longest time, since I was a sophomore in college. Why is it so long in coming? Why do I backburner it (yes, that's a verb) so much??? There must be an underlying lack of confidence or intimidation at the publishing process or something that makes me believe it's a waste of time to try.
Well if this prompt doesn't bring to mind my more creative friends, C. and C.! It also reminds me how my brother once said to me, during my junior or senior year of undergrad, "You sure are less creative and artistic than you used to be." Initially, I was offended, but he was absolutely right. I have lost the desire to hold on to scraps and merge them into something new. Well, not entirely... I still have collaging materials in a shoebox in my bedroom, waiting, waiting, waiting to be made into something great and beautiful. Collaging really appeals to me, always has. I wonder why? I like incorporating words with images too. Complete and utter synergy! The marriage of images and words! What more could a literary artist want??? (Reminds me also of the books Austerlitz and Our America, both chapter books which incorporate images. Awesome.)
OK, I need to control myself. I could go on and on saying, "That reminds me of..." Back to the prompt at hand! A few things come to mind that I want to talk about having made. In March, I made a Wordle / Poem framed gift for one of my aunts. I used a computer, my friend Joy's prowess on Macs (to use the Grab program to capture the Wordle image and convert it into a .jpg file, so I could print it in color at FedEx), the Wordle.net website, and a two-slot picture frame to put it all together. Oh yeah, and some tape to secure it, plus the packaging stuff. Joy's help in assembling this craft was 50% of the fun. I need to clear time to make a similar one for my other aunt. However, I want to shake it up somehow and vary hers, so the gifts aren't identical. I've had her in mind for at least 6 months. I made her one already, but it doesn't do her justice, so I need to regroup and re-create. As my friend Crystal has said, it's never a bad idea to start from scratch again, and not re-use something you're not crazy about. She was referring to my personal statement for a grad school application.
Actually, maybe I should say that was my most recent creation, my re-vamped personal statement. For that, my materials were: the comfortable environment of T's apartment (heated, with his intermittent input and the motivation his company provides); Marvin Gaye lyrics (and therefore, the cultural capital my dad gave me by introducing this music to me in the first place); my computer; the gift of e-editing given by a former professor and former classmate; and spacious, soothing evening hours, away from work and without the specter of other encroaching deadlines, etc. That was a very positive experience, the creation of that personal statement. I love it, whereas the prior one I wrote was as flat as 3-day old RC Cola that came in a 2-liter plastic container and was left out in the cold garage and forgotten.
Another recent creation of mine was a collection of my own writing, which I compiled as a gift. That was fun. Maybe someday I will really get to see some of my writing published in a book. Wow, that day would be 100% bliss. So if that's the next thing I want to make, I definitely need to clear some time for it. I need to undertake the kind of discipline and devotion published writers exercise, where they say, "6 a.m. till 11 a.m. is my writing time, every day, no matter what, no matter how in or out of touch with my muse I feel, I will produce writing between those hours, uninterrupted by errands, relationships, to-do's, the Internet and its infinite researching abilities, whatever else... I already know what I want my first book to be about. I've wanted to do this for the longest time, since I was a sophomore in college. Why is it so long in coming? Why do I backburner it (yes, that's a verb) so much??? There must be an underlying lack of confidence or intimidation at the publishing process or something that makes me believe it's a waste of time to try.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Community
Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?
I have discovered community in a very intense way in my Bible study. These women have radically changed my life. I feel so incredibly renewed, recharged, inspired, encouraged, and enabled by their friendships. They have taught me that a Christian woman can be drop-dead gorgeous, can maintain a girlish playfulness and spontaneity in the face of the daily grind, can be very intelligent and productive in society in ways I never would have previously given much credit, can contribute much to society simply through ongoing commitment to service through the church, and can grow closer to the Lord through the years, rather than be crippled by life's complications and disappointments. I am very dissatisfied with my words here, because they simply don't capture the magnitude of the impact of this community. I would like to join my church community more deeply in 2011, especially to participate in its academic outlets more (i.e., engage in conversation/class with members who are professors at the local Presbyterian college).
I have discovered community in a very intense way in my Bible study. These women have radically changed my life. I feel so incredibly renewed, recharged, inspired, encouraged, and enabled by their friendships. They have taught me that a Christian woman can be drop-dead gorgeous, can maintain a girlish playfulness and spontaneity in the face of the daily grind, can be very intelligent and productive in society in ways I never would have previously given much credit, can contribute much to society simply through ongoing commitment to service through the church, and can grow closer to the Lord through the years, rather than be crippled by life's complications and disappointments. I am very dissatisfied with my words here, because they simply don't capture the magnitude of the impact of this community. I would like to join my church community more deeply in 2011, especially to participate in its academic outlets more (i.e., engage in conversation/class with members who are professors at the local Presbyterian college).
Beautifully Different
Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.
What makes me different... (1) my naiveté. Yes, this can be a weakness, as one friend has criticized me for. But Sandy says it's refreshing to her. I see being naive as the inverse of being jaded. As I grow older, my prayer is that this trait is not expressed as optimism to a fault. May I still acknowledge the very real dysfunction and pain that cause jadedness, but respond to it in a very different way.
Along the same lines.... (2) my excitability. I met a friend for coffee today and was saddened at how she no longer reciprocated my excited remarks with no inhibitions, as we both used to. Well, I haven't outgrown this trait. While it made me feel immature next to her, I also wouldn't want to lose this trait. Two of my very best friends in Jackson are like this, and they're older than me and absolutely brilliant (in my opinion), so I want to maintain this quality. As my friend today pointed out, it's what keeps me so curious and outgoing as far as asking questions in a learning environment goes. I think that does light my professors up, seeing me be inquisitive and engaged. I know I relish it when my own students are that way with me.
(3) my vocabulary. I really think being a nerd is paying off! Now the people I love most are those who respond positively to my quirky, over-analytical, overly-formally phrased comments. I feel so myself when I am free to say these things. It's a trait of mine that attracts top-rate company. Is that a stuffy thing to say??? I don't mean rich, snooty, over-educated company. I mean playful, intellectually alive company.
What makes me different... (1) my naiveté. Yes, this can be a weakness, as one friend has criticized me for. But Sandy says it's refreshing to her. I see being naive as the inverse of being jaded. As I grow older, my prayer is that this trait is not expressed as optimism to a fault. May I still acknowledge the very real dysfunction and pain that cause jadedness, but respond to it in a very different way.
Along the same lines.... (2) my excitability. I met a friend for coffee today and was saddened at how she no longer reciprocated my excited remarks with no inhibitions, as we both used to. Well, I haven't outgrown this trait. While it made me feel immature next to her, I also wouldn't want to lose this trait. Two of my very best friends in Jackson are like this, and they're older than me and absolutely brilliant (in my opinion), so I want to maintain this quality. As my friend today pointed out, it's what keeps me so curious and outgoing as far as asking questions in a learning environment goes. I think that does light my professors up, seeing me be inquisitive and engaged. I know I relish it when my own students are that way with me.
(3) my vocabulary. I really think being a nerd is paying off! Now the people I love most are those who respond positively to my quirky, over-analytical, overly-formally phrased comments. I feel so myself when I am free to say these things. It's a trait of mine that attracts top-rate company. Is that a stuffy thing to say??? I don't mean rich, snooty, over-educated company. I mean playful, intellectually alive company.
Party
What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.
This is an absolute no-brainer. Charles Hooker's Christmas party knocked my socks off. As I reminisce on it, I am absolutely astonished about how outstanding of an experience it really was. I met an amazing woman, Anna, whose thoughts and conversation were so engaging to me. As a bunch of men outside were huddled around a fire (where the drinks were), they were looking in on us wondering what we could be talking about to such an extent and with such gusto. It was truly refreshing to meet a kindred spirit like hers.
I also loved being around a bunch of professionals, YUPPies I suppose. I love being in the mix with people from different backgrounds and areas of expertise than my own. I literally feel as though I took a step up into adulthood that night, like I gained a little more insight into the importance of social consciousness.
The very best part was conversing with the Hooker couple as the party died down. I still need to polish off the book Charles lent to me, God's Long Summer: Stories of Faith and Civil Rights. Being lent a historical book by an elder who is widely respected in the local scene reminds me of when a prominent attorney lent me Rising Tide this past spring. It was a grueling read, kind of, but I'm glad I finished it. I look forward to reconnecting with the Hookers sometime soon, and continuing our conversation. I can't deny, I am growing fonder of my southern home and community by the day. I won't resist these opportunities to become rooted here.
This is an absolute no-brainer. Charles Hooker's Christmas party knocked my socks off. As I reminisce on it, I am absolutely astonished about how outstanding of an experience it really was. I met an amazing woman, Anna, whose thoughts and conversation were so engaging to me. As a bunch of men outside were huddled around a fire (where the drinks were), they were looking in on us wondering what we could be talking about to such an extent and with such gusto. It was truly refreshing to meet a kindred spirit like hers.
I also loved being around a bunch of professionals, YUPPies I suppose. I love being in the mix with people from different backgrounds and areas of expertise than my own. I literally feel as though I took a step up into adulthood that night, like I gained a little more insight into the importance of social consciousness.
The very best part was conversing with the Hooker couple as the party died down. I still need to polish off the book Charles lent to me, God's Long Summer: Stories of Faith and Civil Rights. Being lent a historical book by an elder who is widely respected in the local scene reminds me of when a prominent attorney lent me Rising Tide this past spring. It was a grueling read, kind of, but I'm glad I finished it. I look forward to reconnecting with the Hookers sometime soon, and continuing our conversation. I can't deny, I am growing fonder of my southern home and community by the day. I won't resist these opportunities to become rooted here.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Wisdom
What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
I remember reading a Christian-based book about dating when I was in high school. The advice in its pages was, when you break up with someone, make it a clean break. Meaning, don't hold on. Let it go, go, go.
Now, I do admit, this long-standing personal philosophy of mine does make me very Pharisee-ish. It puts me in danger of looking down upon friends who can't seem to let go of former significant others. And I don't want to be that way. May I add that I am not perfect at practicing this philosophy, either.
However, with the help of two good friends, C.and H., I was able to let go of a very unsatisfying, not-deep relationship I had earlier in the year. And as a result of clearing house, my heart was able to grow, see myself more clearly, deepen bonds with girlfriends, not mope, and, perhaps most significantly, to understand God's good will towards my own heart and His purpose for the intermittent spring-cleaning He does when our hearts get cluttered with what's not really (for) us. I'm so glad God can restore the heart and allow it to keep growing, rather than to shut down or become utterly myopic in its view of the life God has made for us to experience abundantly.
Wisdom: in this case, it came initially through reading, and was pounded home by the encouragement of good friends.
I remember reading a Christian-based book about dating when I was in high school. The advice in its pages was, when you break up with someone, make it a clean break. Meaning, don't hold on. Let it go, go, go.
Now, I do admit, this long-standing personal philosophy of mine does make me very Pharisee-ish. It puts me in danger of looking down upon friends who can't seem to let go of former significant others. And I don't want to be that way. May I add that I am not perfect at practicing this philosophy, either.
However, with the help of two good friends, C.and H., I was able to let go of a very unsatisfying, not-deep relationship I had earlier in the year. And as a result of clearing house, my heart was able to grow, see myself more clearly, deepen bonds with girlfriends, not mope, and, perhaps most significantly, to understand God's good will towards my own heart and His purpose for the intermittent spring-cleaning He does when our hearts get cluttered with what's not really (for) us. I'm so glad God can restore the heart and allow it to keep growing, rather than to shut down or become utterly myopic in its view of the life God has made for us to experience abundantly.
Wisdom: in this case, it came initially through reading, and was pounded home by the encouragement of good friends.
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