Sunday Night

Sunday nights: the epitome of bittersweet. Like the end of summer, leaves me feeling very satisfied with rest, and very restless for the week of work ahead. As I look at the eight ungraded essays before me, which got bumped from the Saturday to do list to the last drops of the weekend, keeping-me-from-my-bed to-do list, I think of many other things.

One, I am so thankful for Bon Iver. Music like his helps me be calm, introspective, and focused, even when I'm awash with emotion. He has that artist's skill of validating the human experience of every emotion on the spectrum, from brimming joy, to insatiated longing, to tearful nostalgia, to pleading realization, to freeing declaration.

Two, birthdays. My own, plus L's. I need to think of a good gift for her.

Three, October 10th will be the 5th year anniversary of Dad's death: woah. I will commemorate with a sausage McMuffin breakfast, and an imagined trip to his gravesight. Wish I had done that while in CO. I don't like this feeling of separation from him I am starting to have. But I know he would be pleased with what I have done with my life, and that is a really good feeling. I owe him so much...I think I am the happy, joyful person I usually am because of him. Well, the enduring source of that joy is Him, capital "H." But it's all a circle anyway, as all good things come from His hand. People God sends me to nurture me, and for me to nurture, they are all indelible prints on my heart and I refuse to let our memories fade, ever.

Four, thank God that I did OK on my Race & Ethnicity paper & presentation this week. I could hardly believe it! What a relief. I'm glad I was able to breathe more this weekend, figuratively speaking, and enjoy the days: clean out my closet, fix my bike's brakes, play tennis, go out with two church friends, and be out of the house both nights....a BLESSING straight from God's loving hands. All I can do is lift them in praise.

Five, and I think I'll stop here, but God, if You gave me nothing else, You've already done enough. The taste of your grace and your power to hold me even in my uncertainty and fear -- God, there is nothing on earth like your love.