Confidence: a Top-10 List

There are many disillusioning things in this world, and the search for this or that leaves us thirsty time and again when it's not from God's well. Happiness, beauty, success, fame, things...all these fade with time. They begin real and strong, but get worn out by reality, as time reveals the weak stuff these things are made of. There's not enough there to sustain us.

I'm learning to draw strength and confidence from Him. Sure, I've already learned this lesson, but I need it again. I need it in new ways. Other sources of confidence -- success at work, in classwork, in athletics, in looks -- all these do deliver, but without any consistency or staying power. Their power is in the eye of the beholder; in other words, to gain confidence from achievements is contingent upon others noticing and saying something.

Being raised by a doting father, I will say I was trained early on to draw strength from his words of affirmation. As an adult now, I realize that I can no longer be dependent on parental onlookers. Dependence. That perfectly sums up the problem of getting confidence from any other source but Christ. I will be drawing too heavily on an undependable audience to appreciate my accolades. Not to mention that this approach to confidence-building breeds a stench of entitlement.

To turn over a new leaf with confidence, I turn again to my Source, my Redeemer. He can redeem anything about me that needs correction, encouragement, healing. Here are the top 10 thoughts I got from a word-search of "confidence" in Scripture:

1.) One's level of joy is bound up in where (in what) one places one's confidence. Those who have no confidence in the proud or in idols have joy and trust in the LORD. (paraphrase [pp] Psalm 40:4). We trust that help comes to us not from confidence in powerful people, but in confidence in the LORD (pp Ps. 146:3).


3.) Confidence is not about being confident in yourself or your own understanding. Confidence rightly placed can be sure, and still be slow to act. Be wary of being confident or hasty in your own course of action. Prudence is wise, cautious, and avoids danger; foolishness "plunge[s] ahead with reckless confidence" (Prov. 14:15).


4.) When we aren't confident, we lack strength. We're also probably tired. We're seeking hard for a source of steady strength (which is confidence itself). In times of restlessness and distance from God, our only strength will/can be found in quietness and confidence that the Lord has saved us, and is presently saving us (pp Isaiah 30:16). What we hope for, we believe will actually happen (Heb 11:1). This is confidence: assurance of salvation.


5.) Peace of mind, which stems from the righteousness God gives us, is perhaps synonymous with confidence (pp Isaiah 32:17). A feeling of righteousness (not earned, but given freely) emboldens us to approach God, fizzles out guilt, and increases our confidence that we will be saved on judgment day, because we already see His power in us to live like Jesus did here on this earth (see 1 John 3:21, 4:17). Confidence for the Christian is not placed in human effort, no matter how good you act and perform, but rather in relying on what Christ Jesus has done for us (pp Phil 3:3-4).


6.) The Lord himself, when we put our hope in Him, becomes the substance of our confidence (pp Jer. 17:7). Hope is coming, if it is not already here: we "hold to the hope that lies before us," which gives us great confidence in the here-and-now (Hebrews 6:18).


7.) We can be confident that the Lord is able to, and wants to, and will, save us from danger in our lives (pp 1 Cor 1:12). Moreover, having a feeling of confidence in our salvation will protect us, as a helmet (1 Thess 5:8).


8.) A sense of mental confidence can be derived from depending on God's grace rather than on our own human wisdom, and acting with sincerity and holiness in all our dealings, which clears our conscience (pp. 2 Cor 1:12)


9.) We are not born confident; rather, we gain it, from others' triumphs in faith, and from speaking God's truth without fear. That's right: you can outgrow your fears! (pp Phil. 1:14) Confidence can be gained by doing, too: when we embrace opportunities to lead in church, this increases our own confidence in our faith (pp 1 Tim. 3:13).


10.) Confidence can come from a sense of understanding of God's mysterious plan -- Christ himself, and how Christ resolved all that was lost and confused before --  which we arrive at with fellow Christians. (Colo. 2:2)

I Press On...to Win the Prize

Is there anything like a conversation with a friend who knows what you're going through, doesn't make you feel judged, but makes you feel free to all the good possibilities in life?

Conversations like that, wow. Being set free by someone's calm approach to the hardships we all face in life, and by their love for you that is not to be earned: what can compare?

I am looking upon this coming summer like it will be a very serious time. I have had times of rest, enjoyment, ease, fun; I feel a season of taking a real inventory of myself, where I am with God, all coming. Of course, it's kind of intimidating. Who wouldn't rather have an easy summer?

I pray for the courage to make the ones I love most feel free, like this friend who I called made me feel. I pray for courage to be all that God created me to be. Sometimes it is a very intimidating call, but God is faithful to get us there. Forgetting what is past, and straining toward what lies ahead, I pray with all my might to, as India.Arie puts it, to be "headed in the right direction."To know that I am headed in the right direction; what peace can compare? The real completion of the real Bible verse goes, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Thank you God, for times of fun,
for times of rest in the middle of a streak of hard work,
for the relief of forgiveness,
the julibee of bright pink shirts,
the undeserved blessing of complete freedom

Even though I am technically free of responsibility
God,
please make me feel responsible
for taking care
of the ones you love.

There's delight in this responsibility,
I know there is.

God I pray
that you help me
be honest, pure, patient, and determined
to attain -- to recognize, to taste, to know, to appreciate --
Your very best for me.

Happy

This photo was staged and taken by my dear friend, C. It tells so many stories at the same time: She's in my room, after I moved far away, so I am really happy. She brought some books for my middle school students here to use from MS, so she did a very meaningful favor for me by driving them to me across three states. (Of course, that is not why she came, just a favor she threw in.) Third, her creativity in arranging the books in a heart shape-- I love reading, I love the fact that my friends came to see me. That was a really happy day, and she captured it creatively. The time she gave me this photo it was even more of a gift, because I needed the encouragement that day. Thanks, C!

Different Psalm on a Different Day

Two days ago, I thought, "None of these Psalms apply to me. I'm not the innocent. I can't say what David is saying." Then, just yesterday, a different Psalm and a different day, struck fresh upon my own experience. In stark contrast to the preceding day, I felt like my own voice and cries were there upon the page. I was included.

Today I'm thankful and happy that the Word includes me, will always be relevant to me, and will be the place where I am best understood. I don't have to fear what God thinks (and my, He has brought me a long way to say and believe that!), about me, about my situation, about others. I know God understands how I feel in it all, because the Word he gave me puts my own fears and hopes, victories and despair, joys and sorrows, in writing. And I love good writing.... His Word satisfies. It reminds, refreshes, and gives resolve to try again. What other God cares so much for His children's hearts and desires? His goodness is deep, and it is here to stay.

Each day, God keeps on proving Himself true and trustworthy.

Writing: Work, Worries, or a Wonder?

This morning I have the completion of my theory paper upon me. It is to be 15-20 pages. I've finished the reading for it; my outline with quotes and all (each point is really a paragraph already) is about that long. I don't have any more reading to do, but my final section needs to be a creative synthesis of it all, but it should be fun to do because I am basing it on reflections of my time teaching-- specifically, on NCLB.

The sooner I finish this paper, the sooner I can head to Jackson!

I've found myself actually enjoying the intense schedule of work that grad school has meant to me this semester especially. Not that I didn't work hard last semester, because I did. But I have less idle time in my apartment this semester, on account of taking four classes and picking up a part time job. Thus, my leisure time now is far more valuable than it was to me last semester. But in writing this theory paper, I find the writing process so gratifying that I wish this could be my living. I don't even mind having a very limited audience--- indeed, even an audience of two! My joy and satisfaction in writing (at least in this paper) does not hinge upon the attention it will receive. My joy is in the thinking process that writing activates, how it's creative, and how I strongly feel I was born to write.

Maybe straining to publish academic articles and back to back research projects doesn't sound like fun to me, but books? I could do that. Educational theory? One big, meaty project? Oh yes, I could do that. It feels good to be doing what I know I was meant to do. Writing, though fun, is still work, not leisure. So it's enjoyable, fulfilling work. This is God's gift, no doubt.

Since it's early in the morning and I haven't even turned to my class writing yet, what can scripture illuminate about this topic? About work, here's what God told David (to tell Solomon).

Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the LORD is finished correctly. (1 Chronicles 28:20)

This exhortation is instructive on two levels. First, God knows that the nature of work as experienced by the human worker can intimidate. Hence, procrastination and complaining can set in. Second, God does give us tasks to complete, projects which are His work indeed, but He himself assists in their completion, sending helpers and skills and time to do so. In this light, achievement (as another word for completion) is a highly spiritual act.