Final Push

I have 6 more days of school. Six more days in which to write two papers and do one set of readings. I can do this, I can do this. I know God will get me there. He's my Provider, material and psycho-social. (that's a very academic way to put it; maybe I should have just said tangible and intangible, or material and relational.) All the resources I need, he's got 'em. He gives freely.

I've been able to sleep more this weekend than I did during the week. And yet, as I attempt to sit down and write one of these papers, I just feel utterly exhausted. How to beat deep-seated exhaustion? The deep-down kind of tiredness that is set back behind appearances, behind that liveliness that comes when the work week is over. Deep, deep down, that tiredness that hasn't been resolved. Maybe a nap will help. But maybe that's just me avoiding writing!

I'm happy to report that last week I was able to crank out a pretty long paper from pretty much scratch. Well, like Mr. Bowman in high school taught us, if you have all your materials ready, you can crank out college term papers in a snap. So yeah, for this paper I did have that situation more or less. I was really satisfied upon completing it because I can confidently say it was the creation of a delectable mix of discipline and creativity. The only downer is, that was my favorite paper for the term; the two ahead of me are less pleasant and exciting to me. But if I'm to be optimistic, I'm in that situation with these two papers that lie ahead, too, that I already have a chunk of the work done, though not all materials gathered. Oh, and also except that last week I had 5 days to devote to the one paper, and this time I have the same amount of time, but two papers. Yikes. I also wonder what kind of grade I'll get in the business class...I can hope for the best, but honestly, I just don't know what I'll get! I've worked hard in that class, that I can say confidently. Don't think I could have worked any harder. So whatever grade I get is OK.

So this entry is a bit of whining to get me prepped for a writing spree. Let's hope it actually does work that way! And that I don't tire of the taste of coffee!

Cheers to the little reliefs God gives us each day, the immutable fact that each day will always end and a new one will come, that tiredness will be resolved in rest and He knows how much we need it to keep on (even when we're oblivious to or ignore our own needs), for the blessing of time passing when you're in the productivity-zone, for the energy to do work each day, to get the work done that needs to get done that day. For the thrill of work finished. For the will to bulldoze through massive amounts of readings, to fight the urge to do anything other than write. For the refreshment of friendships old and new to keep the heart and mind full and hopeful. Lord, I'm not missing all that You're doing. You see me and You provide. As you always have.