The Girl You Marry

Felicity, Season 2, Episode 1

Ben: Felicity and I, we might start dating. [looks at roommate Sean.] What the hell is that expression?
Sean: Well, Felicity is...not exactly the girl you date.
Ben: Oh she's not?

Sean: No, she's the girl you marry. I swear-- I'm 8 years older than you. I mean when you were born, I was already in little league. I mean that's a lifetime of experience. ... listen to me, I like Felicity, but you're not ready for that. You know, she is this thoughtful, challenging, complicated girl who examines the world she sees and you're-- you're-- you're like this idiot. I mean it's not your fault, you're a young guy. I'm tellin' you man, you get caught up in this, and it's drama, and it's pain, and you've blown the relationship for the rest of your life.

Ben: I like her. I can't help it. We idiots like Felicity.

This script's content, while implicitly intriguing to me, is actually a little oversimplified. It doesn't deal with the fact that Julie, Ben's previous girlfriend, was no immature girl. But yet, maybe I can see Felicity's 'superiority' when it comes down to being mysterious, many-sided, and more real and compelling in her spirit, in that she is often truly conflicted and undergoes an internal process of decision-making, rather than being impulsive or over-emotional, or steered by emotions, like Julie. (But, I want to clearly say that the world needs its Julie's and they too will be married, LOL.) Felicity is both feminine and human, beautiful and complex. She's never really settled in her mind about a lot of things and comes to conclusions herself, without trying to gather over-thorough advice or weigh in on what others think. That being said, she's had some serious character blunders and missteps. I wouldn't want to be Felicity, for that.  (I don't mean that in a self-righteous way, only that I can only imagine the inner turmoil and despair those decisions and their fallouts must have caused her.)

On another note, I think Sean's stance is an interesting one that represents majority culture's approach to man-woman relationships. The young guy gets this free pass to be dumb for a while. If there's any nugget of truth to be gleaned from this, it's that a 'girl you marry' should be on her toes for the dumb ones. Which would lead either to the conclusion that she befriend them but not fall in love with them, so retain a cool distance, or else accept that they're currently dumb and the time's not right. And if it's the time for her, than he's not the one.