A while ago I wrote about the first Bible verse I ever (recall having) memorized -- Joshua 1:9, about being strong and courageous and God being with you wherever you go. Here's an interesting pretext for that. The Lord told Joshua,
"Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do." (Joshua 1:8)
Increasingly I find myself wanting to fill my mind with God['s instructions, because the things I have to say about my situation, my reflections, etc., either aren't comforting, or just simply aren't enough to feel filed. So I come to God's instructions continually to fill that hole. The command to meditate on it constantly, day and night, in this light (ha! pun!), is actually no drag at all; it's a relief from otherwise disconcerting, dead-ending, anxiety-ridden, circular thought processes, those thoughts that rise up to the surface through sleep and that I wake up with, or the thoughts that seep in when I am trying to read for class. This verse also illuminates what prosperity truly is. This is no guarantee for riches if you do this or that (painting God as some kind of formulaic vending machine god). Rather, I think God is redefining success and prosperity here. It kind of goes with the proverbial "wisdom is better than rubies" argument.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Carried & Loved
Deuteronomy 33:12
“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him,
for he shields him all day long,
and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.”
Where do I rest most secure? It is probably in the company of my dearest friends, in ones who don't make me feel crazy or off my path, who don't take my words lightly or dismissively, who I can confide my deepest fears in. Wait....that's what the LORD can do for me, too. He won't make me feel like I'm unacceptable, like what I say needs no response or or cannot be understood, and best of all, I can confide in him. And this Confidant who I used to see as my Father and Provider, primarily, is around all day long.
I've been having spurts of momentary bliss since the beginning of 2012. And I relish the pleasure of feeling cradled in God's safe arms, under His tender watch and care. But my feelings are all too punctuated and brief. I need rather to realize God is my shield and refuge, too -- not just a momentary friend I call up because I am in town.
My favorite part is the last part. God places me between His shoulders, so I can rest while He carries me, like a dad giving a piggy back. There's really no more picturesque thing I can call to my imagination: to be the one carried and loved.
“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him,
for he shields him all day long,
and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.”
Where do I rest most secure? It is probably in the company of my dearest friends, in ones who don't make me feel crazy or off my path, who don't take my words lightly or dismissively, who I can confide my deepest fears in. Wait....that's what the LORD can do for me, too. He won't make me feel like I'm unacceptable, like what I say needs no response or or cannot be understood, and best of all, I can confide in him. And this Confidant who I used to see as my Father and Provider, primarily, is around all day long.
I've been having spurts of momentary bliss since the beginning of 2012. And I relish the pleasure of feeling cradled in God's safe arms, under His tender watch and care. But my feelings are all too punctuated and brief. I need rather to realize God is my shield and refuge, too -- not just a momentary friend I call up because I am in town.
My favorite part is the last part. God places me between His shoulders, so I can rest while He carries me, like a dad giving a piggy back. There's really no more picturesque thing I can call to my imagination: to be the one carried and loved.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I know, I can tell.
From the movie SherryBaby:
Sherry (sister): You love me.
Ryan (brother): Yes, I do love you.
Sherry: I know, I can tell.
How very true this is. Although loving others is hard work, it is always easy to tell it is being done. It's easy to tell when someone is trustworthy. It is easy to tell when they're on your side, an advocate for your growth and care and nurturance and good. It's easy to sense that someone relies on you too, so it's not a one-sided relationship; the joy of giving to them is essential for you to feel loved, too. ALong those lines, you can tell someone loves you when they receive what you offer them as a precious gift. They value your role in their life.
You can tell someone loves you by the way they ask questions about your day, or when they follow up on something you said a long way back. You know someone loves you when their gifts toward you show generosity, forethought, time given, or some combination of these. You know someone loves you when their concern for your good cannot be trumped by any other compromising force -- be it other peoples' views and influences, the distracting and oftentimes divergent demands of life (goes the seed in the soil parable ring a bell?), or the mistakes you've each made towards each other.
I love that you can tell when someone loves you. It's one of life's biggest reliefs.
Sherry (sister): You love me.
Ryan (brother): Yes, I do love you.
Sherry: I know, I can tell.
How very true this is. Although loving others is hard work, it is always easy to tell it is being done. It's easy to tell when someone is trustworthy. It is easy to tell when they're on your side, an advocate for your growth and care and nurturance and good. It's easy to sense that someone relies on you too, so it's not a one-sided relationship; the joy of giving to them is essential for you to feel loved, too. ALong those lines, you can tell someone loves you when they receive what you offer them as a precious gift. They value your role in their life.
You can tell someone loves you by the way they ask questions about your day, or when they follow up on something you said a long way back. You know someone loves you when their gifts toward you show generosity, forethought, time given, or some combination of these. You know someone loves you when their concern for your good cannot be trumped by any other compromising force -- be it other peoples' views and influences, the distracting and oftentimes divergent demands of life (goes the seed in the soil parable ring a bell?), or the mistakes you've each made towards each other.
I love that you can tell when someone loves you. It's one of life's biggest reliefs.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Being Gentle
This is a fruit of the Spirit that I'd like to grow more of.
Consider (spotted in a writer's email signature): "Be gentle with each person you meet, for each of them is fighting a great battle." -- Philo of Alexandria 20 BC- 50 BC
Consider (spotted in a writer's email signature): "Be gentle with each person you meet, for each of them is fighting a great battle." -- Philo of Alexandria 20 BC- 50 BC
Monday, March 5, 2012
Library Books, and other unrelated topics
It's almost Spring Break... and that means, pleasure reading!! Here's what's on tap: The Hunger Games, The Crying Game, and East of Eden. One of these I will knock out via audiobook while driving. The other two, in the hours of ease and rest which will doubtless evaporate before my very eyes. I already have lofty goals for thesis work (data analysis) and classwork (Sociology of Sex&Gender presentation preparation; Theory papers) I will accomplish over the weekdays. I already have a gameplan (appropriate in light of all my game-y reading fodder) in place: go to Willie Morris library between 8-5, daily, while my best friend is working. And, another goal of spring break is car repairs! I just hope my car can make it to Jackson without any tire blowouts or belts snapping.
I can't wait! I only have to get through this statistics exam before break dawns! This past weekend was an unbeatable prelude to break. T and I did almost every imaginable thing we could have dreamt up: he reunited with two college friends; I got to introduce him to numerous people in/approx. in my cohort; we played racquetball; I drank bubble tea; we went to ASF for church (very, very good sermon); we saw his cousins three times. Wow, what a weekend! None really comes close in comparison since I started here at Emory except our Pensacola weekend with M. I miss her!
I can't wait! I only have to get through this statistics exam before break dawns! This past weekend was an unbeatable prelude to break. T and I did almost every imaginable thing we could have dreamt up: he reunited with two college friends; I got to introduce him to numerous people in/approx. in my cohort; we played racquetball; I drank bubble tea; we went to ASF for church (very, very good sermon); we saw his cousins three times. Wow, what a weekend! None really comes close in comparison since I started here at Emory except our Pensacola weekend with M. I miss her!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Limits to, or Limitless, Caring?
To care or not to care? That is the question. From the outset, I will say, it was Jesus' intention that we care. We're to be fully engaged in this world, not "above" it or beyond it. No, we're in it, so we'd better act like it.
But Jesus also knows that to care makes life much, much harder. So, He helps direct our focus to what is worthwhile caring about, and He directs us to stop caring (perhaps that's a little overstated -- He wants us to change the degree to which or way in which we care) about situations that only cause anxiety, situations which we cannot control or that cause us to lose sight of caring about other, greater things -- namely, His grace, His name.
To care about another person is perhaps life's hardest task. I am constantly questioning the limits I should place on caring for another person, or how to increase my compassion in cases where I'm more indifferent than God would ever agree to. There are those (people) we care too much about; there are those we don't care about enough. There are those we obsess over, whose missteps will send us reeling; there are those who we don't help enough when tragedy hits; there are those we fixate on who harm us, and we let them grow bitterness inside of us.
The solution? To ask God to put the right amount of love in the places it is most needed; to have more of His grace to ease the sting of our disappointment and to kill off resentment before it takes over, like Round-Up weed killer prevents weeds from reaching full-form. And also, to always ask for a greater measure of love where it is lacking, and wisdom to know how to apply feelings of love.
But why is love so tightly tied to other strong emotional responses? I think part of love, besides the proper sort of caring, is knowing how to manage strong responses in a loving way. Instead of nagging, let silence create a space of longing to make things better. Instead of being angry, a letting go that acknowledges all God has provided ("If God didn't do anything else [for me], He's already done enough," goes the gospel song). Have you ever teared up at the realization of God's goodness ... and two days later grappled with the struggle of loving others, feeling not thankfulness for them or for any other of God's blessings, but instead a general, overriding sense of having your formerly stable world be upset?
Where does God want us: on the stable ground, or the ground where we're turned upside down? Perhaps neither, as neither one brings us to a place where we can simultaneously enjoy -- that is, be aware of -- His goodness and love others in a real way. This is Alyosha's coming-of-age in Dostoyevsky's novel The Bothers Karamazov. While he once lived safely as a monk, he came out of that when he realized Jesus would rather see him interact with his troubled father than be set-apart all peaceful and "holy."
It takes courage, though!
But Jesus also knows that to care makes life much, much harder. So, He helps direct our focus to what is worthwhile caring about, and He directs us to stop caring (perhaps that's a little overstated -- He wants us to change the degree to which or way in which we care) about situations that only cause anxiety, situations which we cannot control or that cause us to lose sight of caring about other, greater things -- namely, His grace, His name.
To care about another person is perhaps life's hardest task. I am constantly questioning the limits I should place on caring for another person, or how to increase my compassion in cases where I'm more indifferent than God would ever agree to. There are those (people) we care too much about; there are those we don't care about enough. There are those we obsess over, whose missteps will send us reeling; there are those who we don't help enough when tragedy hits; there are those we fixate on who harm us, and we let them grow bitterness inside of us.
The solution? To ask God to put the right amount of love in the places it is most needed; to have more of His grace to ease the sting of our disappointment and to kill off resentment before it takes over, like Round-Up weed killer prevents weeds from reaching full-form. And also, to always ask for a greater measure of love where it is lacking, and wisdom to know how to apply feelings of love.
But why is love so tightly tied to other strong emotional responses? I think part of love, besides the proper sort of caring, is knowing how to manage strong responses in a loving way. Instead of nagging, let silence create a space of longing to make things better. Instead of being angry, a letting go that acknowledges all God has provided ("If God didn't do anything else [for me], He's already done enough," goes the gospel song). Have you ever teared up at the realization of God's goodness ... and two days later grappled with the struggle of loving others, feeling not thankfulness for them or for any other of God's blessings, but instead a general, overriding sense of having your formerly stable world be upset?
Where does God want us: on the stable ground, or the ground where we're turned upside down? Perhaps neither, as neither one brings us to a place where we can simultaneously enjoy -- that is, be aware of -- His goodness and love others in a real way. This is Alyosha's coming-of-age in Dostoyevsky's novel The Bothers Karamazov. While he once lived safely as a monk, he came out of that when he realized Jesus would rather see him interact with his troubled father than be set-apart all peaceful and "holy."
It takes courage, though!
Monday, February 20, 2012
Accepted, Loved, and Redeemed
It's been far too long. I miss my blog. I was inspired by one of my best friends today in what she said:
"God redeems ALL of you, every nook and cranny, every molecule, every word, every thought, for His Kingdom." What a relief that it doesn't ride on me to redeem all the ways I waste time, my energy, my thoughts, my speech. If I were to evaluate the way I use the gifts God has given me, I am afraid it would be a devastating evaluation. Good thing the ink in His pen is the color of grace, instead of hateful, unforgiving red. I think part of maturing in His grace is the act of putting the red pen away, first off of others, and importantly, off of ourselves. My binary codes of good or bad make self-evaluation an excessively stinging experience. I pray for the ability to see with steadfast love and understanding the things in my life that aren't neat, and the things that disappoint me the most about myself. I pray that God trump my inner need for organization and alignment, that God revise me with his grace-inked pen.
"God redeems ALL of you, every nook and cranny, every molecule, every word, every thought, for His Kingdom." What a relief that it doesn't ride on me to redeem all the ways I waste time, my energy, my thoughts, my speech. If I were to evaluate the way I use the gifts God has given me, I am afraid it would be a devastating evaluation. Good thing the ink in His pen is the color of grace, instead of hateful, unforgiving red. I think part of maturing in His grace is the act of putting the red pen away, first off of others, and importantly, off of ourselves. My binary codes of good or bad make self-evaluation an excessively stinging experience. I pray for the ability to see with steadfast love and understanding the things in my life that aren't neat, and the things that disappoint me the most about myself. I pray that God trump my inner need for organization and alignment, that God revise me with his grace-inked pen.
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