Did you know you can be stingy if you're only buying things for someone to prove you aren't stingy? This is a perfect example of righteousness without a changed heart. I recently ruined my largesse by erupting in a point of insecurity, "But, I bought you this and this and this!" Old generational lifestyles and habits die HARD. Who knew my dad's miserliness to the point of social death would carry on in me and be a thorn in my own flesh?! Be a challenge in my interpersonal relationships as an adult? On the one hand, it is admirable to save and be mindful of expenses, not to be wasteful or frivolous. But on the other, it is sad to realize my own fixation on the symbolic value of money in relationships. That is a downside to being one who speaks in the gifts love language. Thanks, Dad! Well, the positive to come out of this is not being broke, and also being inclined to think up good, practical gift ideas. To every point of fallenness, God has provided the redeemed side of it, too. Ah, the beauty of contrast.
Prayer: God, save me from my fix-it mentality, as if I can force myself into un-stinginess! Even my best efforts at generosity carry that shadow of that same old stinginess. I can't fake new life; only You can put it there!
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