I am grading undergrads' essay exams now. I am realizing, this is what I am missing in life right now. I am feeling the emptiness of role loss and transition. I need to get back into teaching somehow! I don't know if tutoring will cut it. I need a classroom. I really miss my students...they are LIFE to me.
This weekend, I will need to read Annette Lareau's Home Advantage. I can't help but pray to God that my dissertation work mirrors hers. How totally inspiring and invigorating. She sat in on an upper-class and working-class elementary classroom for an extended period of time (a year, maybe?) and got deeply intrenched in the parents' and teachers' lives. Plus she did some really impressive qualitative field notes coding. She poured her blood, sweat, and tears into that work, and it came out SO GOOD.
I hang on to P's words: "I see you pioneering something big in the area of sociology of education, especially with teachers." I am remembering this morning WHY I am here, and where I hope to be one day, who I hope to be teaching, what I hope to be writing. May God give me the grace to persevere and cling to those dreams! Yes, it is grace, because I need not only endurance, but also an increased measure of His love so that I do it in a way to glorify Him-- not in a socially-absent or isolated way.
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