On an ordinary Monday, I stood in line with my class. I struck up small-talk with an exceptionally meek and obedient student. After asking her about how things were going with her in general, she got straight to the point: "I do not want to take your class, because I don't learn anything in it. People are too loud, I can't learn anything."
I stood there, blinking in unbelief. This is the worst thing a student could say to me, other than curse at me. Ouch.
I stammered within. "Well, do you want me to move your seat?" I replied. "You do sit in the way back. Can you not see? Are people too loud around you?" I was discovering that day that a student who was moved out of my class into an elective was covering-up a huge talker - a girl who sits by this girl. This revelation was like a stone, lifted up so that I could see all the worms underneath, the source of the itch (OK, maybe that analogy isn't the greatest).
Currently, my greatest classroom management challenge is being firm enough to get kids to BE QUIET. I cannot teach worth a darn when everyone's rambunctious and on top of that, disrespectful. On MOnday and Tuesday, I went home feeling like I was invisible, or as if I weighed 0.1 oz - like I was substanceless to my students. A family member reassured me, "it's not you they hate; more that what you represent (overprivileged white girl) they distrust." I need to gain my students' trust. But there will be no way to that end goal without being strict first.
One part of my CM struggle is that I tell myself, "this is such a gross power-mongering game you're playing here." My rules and punishments begin to feel ridiculous to me. I need to gain confidence in the legitimacy of extreme classroom order. I long for my students' trust and interest. My first step in solving my CM problems will be slaying the inner voice in me that tries to convince me, "how dare you be so firm and strict with these students - it's merciless and ridiculous to crush them with the letters of the law."
Last night, when I was feeling overwhelmed at 5 p.m., after a discussion with my mentor, I decided to enact "silent work day" today and tomorrow. This entails a task-list for each class to complete independently and SILENTLY, for 90 minutes (the list includes: read that article Dr. Mullins had the second years read this past weekend about paying for grades, then write an IEGO essay planner in response to a related essay prompt, then write a 5-paragraph essay, then self-edit it, then do three exercises out of the grammar book). At the top of the period, I laid down the law. Then, I dished out consequences, one, two, three, bam bam bam. I was as much of a steel wall, with no squishy heart to betray my want and need for order, as possible. It has gone OK so far.
The ultimate charm to this "silent work experiment" will be to transition back to regular teaching with that same strict law. So the first step I must take to face my CM challenge, which has so much power to drag me down if I don't address it head-on, has been taken, with this strict, no-fun day. I need to make it through, steel-wall again, tomorrow. Once that is done, then my next step will be to slay the voice in me that is always tempted to lighten kids' punishments, especially the ones who I like (who make me smile, who are friendly in other settings, etc.). I NEED to engrave it in my mind: the way I will show love and care for these students is by first of all disciplining them. The kids who want to learn the most suffer worst of all if I don't. The third step I need to take is to build de-stressers into my daily routine. On Tuesday I was WAY too high-strung. I need to get everything done for class done before that day -- no early morning rushes, even if I DO get up early. As Ben said, "planning well and being prepared is the best counter to stress that there is" (or something like that).
Those are the three steps: steel-wall, lay-down-the-law day; abide by the law and believe that it is the road to my students' good (and that it is not meaningless, merciless and will only contribute to labeling the bad kids as 'badder' and making school feel like prison); and de-stressifying myself through habitual routines and being prepared.
I stood there, blinking in unbelief. This is the worst thing a student could say to me, other than curse at me. Ouch.
I stammered within. "Well, do you want me to move your seat?" I replied. "You do sit in the way back. Can you not see? Are people too loud around you?" I was discovering that day that a student who was moved out of my class into an elective was covering-up a huge talker - a girl who sits by this girl. This revelation was like a stone, lifted up so that I could see all the worms underneath, the source of the itch (OK, maybe that analogy isn't the greatest).
Currently, my greatest classroom management challenge is being firm enough to get kids to BE QUIET. I cannot teach worth a darn when everyone's rambunctious and on top of that, disrespectful. On MOnday and Tuesday, I went home feeling like I was invisible, or as if I weighed 0.1 oz - like I was substanceless to my students. A family member reassured me, "it's not you they hate; more that what you represent (overprivileged white girl) they distrust." I need to gain my students' trust. But there will be no way to that end goal without being strict first.
One part of my CM struggle is that I tell myself, "this is such a gross power-mongering game you're playing here." My rules and punishments begin to feel ridiculous to me. I need to gain confidence in the legitimacy of extreme classroom order. I long for my students' trust and interest. My first step in solving my CM problems will be slaying the inner voice in me that tries to convince me, "how dare you be so firm and strict with these students - it's merciless and ridiculous to crush them with the letters of the law."
Last night, when I was feeling overwhelmed at 5 p.m., after a discussion with my mentor, I decided to enact "silent work day" today and tomorrow. This entails a task-list for each class to complete independently and SILENTLY, for 90 minutes (the list includes: read that article Dr. Mullins had the second years read this past weekend about paying for grades, then write an IEGO essay planner in response to a related essay prompt, then write a 5-paragraph essay, then self-edit it, then do three exercises out of the grammar book). At the top of the period, I laid down the law. Then, I dished out consequences, one, two, three, bam bam bam. I was as much of a steel wall, with no squishy heart to betray my want and need for order, as possible. It has gone OK so far.
The ultimate charm to this "silent work experiment" will be to transition back to regular teaching with that same strict law. So the first step I must take to face my CM challenge, which has so much power to drag me down if I don't address it head-on, has been taken, with this strict, no-fun day. I need to make it through, steel-wall again, tomorrow. Once that is done, then my next step will be to slay the voice in me that is always tempted to lighten kids' punishments, especially the ones who I like (who make me smile, who are friendly in other settings, etc.). I NEED to engrave it in my mind: the way I will show love and care for these students is by first of all disciplining them. The kids who want to learn the most suffer worst of all if I don't. The third step I need to take is to build de-stressers into my daily routine. On Tuesday I was WAY too high-strung. I need to get everything done for class done before that day -- no early morning rushes, even if I DO get up early. As Ben said, "planning well and being prepared is the best counter to stress that there is" (or something like that).
Those are the three steps: steel-wall, lay-down-the-law day; abide by the law and believe that it is the road to my students' good (and that it is not meaningless, merciless and will only contribute to labeling the bad kids as 'badder' and making school feel like prison); and de-stressifying myself through habitual routines and being prepared.
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