August 2009: First week: Year 1 vs. Year 2

The first week of school this year, as compared to last year, was much easier. I didn't have that knotted-a.m. stomach, I didn't feel too young to be a teacher, and I didn't have that wavering facial expression of "I'm tough--but please don't test me!" Rather, I was free and able to slam the classroom door fiercely to punctuate the tardy bell and command, "You should be on page 3 doing your warm-up, with your homework on your desk!" Best of all, the dread I felt last year was far weaker this year. Of course, part of me dreaded kissing the freedom and rest of summer goodbye; on the other hand, I had a newfound ease and sense of direction and orientation and know-how that I lacked last August, which equipped me to settle more comfortably into the rigamarole of teacherly duties.

I felt at home in my classroom, which was a great and welcome difference. Also, I cannot express the sheer joy of former students saying, "Hi, Ms. Nelson!" in the hallway. To be known in a place is one of life's sweetest privileges, I think. I have a new belonging here, and it's a thrill. Investing in a place brings about a multiplied blessing, it seems. It's an undeserved but much-welcomed upgrade to this job, the second year. I mean, I guess some of the newfound ease is "deserved" insofar as it has been "earned" through a year's worth of struggling and figuring-out. Ah! My second-year cronies from last year told the truth when they said, "it's all about the second year."  I feel like I am at the point I reached by February last year, now. I feel ready to roll, ready to grow, ready to work, ready to get to know new students. Also, knowing the stress that lies ahead, the nights of being drained and overloaded mentally, (strangely enough) relieves some of the stress.

I admit that at first I was apprehensive to receive new students because losing the former ones was a tearful parting. But already, I can foresee the attachment I will develop to them. Of all things, sitting with a student as he waited for his auntie to pick him up from my detention this past Friday brought that realization to the fore.

I anxiously await what new things I will learn this year as a teacher. This profession is so rich, so full of potential (probably because it entails just TOO MUCH! My coworker told me about an article that added up all the functions teachers play in a functioning society -- i.e., therapist, tutor, babysitter, etc. -- and a teacher's economic worth to society is astonishing!).