Friday, September 10, 2010

August 2008: Picking up the phone: Seeking alliance with parents

Parent phone calls: the prospect of them used to make me queasy. Then, I did a few, and found it wasn't impossible. It's just so strange for me to be talking to a parent in a position of some authority. What do I know, in comparison to a parent? I still need parenting myself. By that I mean, I do not want to go through life feeling parentless; I still feel the desire and need to be directed by an elder. Anyways, now that I have made at least 30 (?) parent phone calls, I have sufficiently warmed-up to it. Still, I feel uneasy by the task. I will dread it and mull over how much I don't want to do it for half an hour, or hours. But, once it's one, I feel much better.
There are three parent reactions (at least, that I have had so far): one is the totally monotone, indifferent, resigned, helpless, curt parent; the second is the mediator, who communicates between me and his or her yelling child in the background, the teen who indignantly defends his/her honor; and the third type is the super-sweet, super-concerned, super-involved, super-loving parent. I talked to one of the first type, two of the second type and two of the third type today as I informed them of detentions. Thank God for the third type of parent! And also, thank God for positive phone calls...so everything doesn't have to be negative all the time. But, the 'mediator' type of parents are very effective, too; I've seen kids utterly transformed when they come back to me from that type of parent.
I am getting the hang of this part of my job. I need to not let it get me down, because there will be the supportive parents, AND there are plenty of positive phone calls that can be made on any given day! I should enact a policy for myself: for every 2 negative/mandatory calls, one positive call.

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